the snake and the soap

now that i got you wondering what the title is all about i am sure that it will more than justify itself by the time you finh reading this.....anyways comming to the the point....this was also something that happened to a good friend of mine who after desciding to rally against god landed int he hospital with the only movable part being his head and his left arm....(note)......so our man is lying in this sexed out room and staring at the of the room almost close to tears..well not from the pain of the accident but you see it was from something that came from it......there was no movement......yes at the one part which every man would protect if something came hurling in your direction......none what so ever....now this was a matter of consideration.....under normal cirmustances it would be diffcult to have moments of ehem ...eh....but now this....he was devasted....his world as he had known seemed to collapsing around him........just when he was contemplating on how to put this into word to his doc the door opend and in walks this nurse in a crisp white uniform....fair, beautful, sexy.....to make it clear someone you would imagine to be in a nurses dress.....but there was nothing ...now my friend was totally physced...them she proceeds to undress him...our man totally naked ...hot babe in front but no reaction what so ever.....he hung on the edge of depression.......she proceeds to sponge him and soap him all over but nothing.....then moves to the target area but still nochange in the senario.......my friend lay his head back in despair contemplating on living a lonely life when the nurse suddenly moved her hand back.....he looked down and lo and behold there it was in full form waving about like the king of snakes himself.......contented;any normal man would have blushed and got it over with but my friend being what he was gave a smile that stretched from one ear to the other......and i was told my good friends that if you had to see a women blush you had to see her that day.....well he never got to see this nurse again....somehow she always managed to stay as far as possiple...........

on giving advise .......part 1

people are great at resolving problems...no doubt about it ....specially when it comes to other people's problems.....they have this whole strategy worked out on your life , have already analzed every aspect of you in the first five minutes that they have met you and wham...they have a solution...now let me tell you about his time...

well the senario was like this i had fallen off the second floor of a building, i just slipped (lets leave it at that for now...trust me you get the full details later)...anyways i am at home lying on bed the only mvable parts being my neck and left hand(note the point) and then we have these visitors who come to see me....all long lost relatives neighbours everyone as far as I know....that is when it starts......me lying without a blip in the world when this neighbour walk in .She makes some small conversation with my dad and moves to my side and speak very softly.The conversation went something like this...

the neighbour:how are you doing son

me:i am fine aunty........

the neighbour:you shouldnt have done something like this.....

me:things happen aunty.....

the neighbour:if you have any problems you should have talked...

this is where i smell foul but go along.....

the neighbour:if you couldnt talk to you parents you should have at come and talked to me.....i would have helped...

saying this she takes my hand and gives what i think was a reassuring squeeze...thats when it hits me......i go like no no it was nothing like that but no she is struck on that and goes about giving a long monologue on how life is precious and all that..and all i could do was shake my head vigourously cause if i forgot to mention my teeth were wired and she took full advantage of the situation and if i timed it right spoke for an hour.....this was only the begining....

like i said i was hapless in this situation...it was as if they had finally gottena chance to releive themselves of this this wisdom they have been storing up for years....people i didnt know for heavens sake people who were a couple of years older........at first i resisted or rather tried to resist as you can see from y situation that it was hopeless and then i went the other way round and went with this the act.....now the conversation went something like this.....

the neighbour:you shouldnt have done something like this...

me: hmmm.....

the neighbour:look how it effected everyone....

me:hmmm.....

the neighbour:you should talked to us...we were are here for you.....

me:yeah....of course....

and so it went on and forth....later even when i was okay and could speak i didnt see apoint in making it clear cause they had already decided on what had happened and had already put their heads and were having a whale of a time telling me what what they thought about it....they were ok i was receiving this infite source of wisdom...why should i differ eh.....